4 Tips on How to Deal with Your Daddy Issues | Anime no Iesu

Some things last forever. Daddy issues should not be one of them.

Having issues with your dad isn’t something you can just ignore. The pain can haunt you for years and keep you caged in anger and fear. That’s why it is important to heal from those daddy issues. 

In this blog post, we’ll break down Todoroki Shoto’’s toxic relationship with his dad Endeavor ( from the Boku no Hero Academia anime series), how Deku helped him overcome his daddy issues and 4 tips on how to deal with your daddy issues

In a hurry? Skip to the section you want to read by clicking any of the links below:

1. What is Anime no Iesu?
2. What is Boku no Hero Academia?
3. What exactly are “Daddy Issues''?
4. Who is Todoroki Shoto?
5. Who is Endeavor?
6. How Deku Helped Todoroki with His Daddy Issues
7. 4 Tips On How To Deal With Your Daddy Issues
8. Conclusion

Spoiler alert: Content here will reference a few episodes from Boku no Hero Academia seasons 1 & 2. If you haven’t watched those seasons, now’s the time to turn back. Lol.

If you are ready to read beyond this sentence, then let’s dive in!

What is Anime no Iesu?

Anime no Iesu….is that a new anime series?

No. Anime no Iesu is a brand created by Onyeka Ndukwe and we are dedicated to exploring all the amazing lessons hidden in your favorite anime series. We’ve got great memes and content for anime lovers all around the world! 

The mission of Anime no Iesu

For this blog post, I’m here to show you something you may have never seen before: How Jesus can talk to you through the amazing world of anime and show you how to deal with that pain in your heart. 

Some of you might be saying “what pain is this guy talking about?”

I’m talking about that pain caused by your dad when he left your mom at 5 years old or when he beat your mother up in front of you. If your father ever abandoned you, cheated on your mom or abused you then your heart is definitely hurting. You just don’t know it (or don’t want to admit it)..  

This blog post will show you the impact that bad fathers can have on a person (via Todoroki and Endeavor’s initial father-son relationship) and how you can heal from your daddy. We’ll explore this subject from the lens of this awesome anime series (cue the Boku no Hero Academia intro song). 

What is Boku no Hero Academia?

My Hero Academia or Boku no Hīrō Akademia is a stellar superhero anime based on the manga series by Kōhei Horikoshi. The manga had over 65 million copies in circulation including sales of spin-offs, making it one of the best-selling manga series of all time.

Both the manga and anime have both won several awards, including the Sugoi Japan Award and Harvey Award for Best Manga, and received two nominations for Anime of the Year at the Crunchyroll Anime Awards

This anime series is on another level! It’s like Marvel and anime did a fusion dance and went Super Saiyan! 

The feels and chills on this anime are just amazing and I’d recommend it if you’re looking for a good anime to watch. 

Now let’s move on to those daddy issues.

What exactly are “Daddy Issues''?

Daddy issues are deep relationship problems that an individual (male or female) has with their father (living or deceased). 

These issues usually stem from childhood trauma as any painful experiences a child goes through during their formative years (0 - 8 years or older) can have a significant impact on their future relationships and outlook on life 

Daddy issues can form when a father is abusive (emotionally, verbally, physically or sexually) to their children or even their mother. The memory of such abuse can remain imprinted in a person’s mind for decades and this person might keep telling everyone “I’m okay” if they ask about the issue. 

One major thing with daddy issues is that they can be hidden to the public but those who really know you can see your daddy issues clear as day. That furious look you get when your dad calls. The way your body shakes with rage when your dad shows up in front of you. All major signs that you've been compromised by the trauma from your daddy issues. 

A good, kind and loving father is a blessing to his family (and community). A traumatized, angry and prideful father is a walking disaster. 

Who is Todoroki Shoto?

He is born into power (with his amazing quirk to use both fire and ice), has good looks and the talent to be a great hero. The problem is that he can be arrogant, cold, prideful and blinded by his intense anger at his father, the hero called Endeavor. His anger is coming from how he saw his father badly treat his mother and those awful memories never left him (Todoroki).

For Todoroki, he thinks this anger is normal and justified but what he doesn’t know is that (on the inside) it is burning him alive. 

It’s easy to tell that Todoroki is struggling with daddy issues. You see it in his behavior when he talks about his dad. His voice sounds cold. His eyes look hardened. You can even hear the tension in his voice sometimes. 

The point here is that you can try your hardest to hide your daddy issues…but eventually they will show up for everyone to see. It would be like trying to conceal a fire in a dry forest. If that forest represents your heart then we’d better call the nearest fire station cause you’ll soon need all the help you can get. 

Who is Endeavor?

Blinded by his quest to be the #1 hero, Endeavor manipulates his family, treats his children like ornaments and does what he likes (without considering the feelings of others). 

The fact Endeavour feels inadequate when compared to All Might shows that there is something broken in him and he subconsciously takes out his frustration on his family. This is part of the reason why Todoroki hates his fire abilities and wants nothing to do with his father

(Sidebar: I know that Endeavor starts trying to be a good father later in the series but this blog post is focused on his past aka Old Endeavor)

The ugly truth here is that a wounded father will eventually hurt those around him. It’s just a matter of time. 

Click below to listen to our podcast episode on Spotify!!👇

How Deku Helped Todoroki with His Daddy Issues

Here’s where it gets interesting: 

The amazing thing about Jesus is that He doesn’t leave you to suffer in your pain. He loves you so much that He wants to help  you to confront the trauma in your heart. 

He sometimes does this by sending people to shake things up in your life and show you that things are not okay the way they are. 

These people might directly push into deep personal territory which can be uncomfortable but they are vessels that Jesus is using because he wants to rescue you. People like this won’t back down even if you try to push them away. People like this guy.. 

Deku might look weak but this kid has a big heart and isn’t afraid to help others (even if it hurts him). 

If you’re like Todoroki and you’re still angry at your father, that anger is not your friend. It can cripple you, blind you to what is happening in real life and cause you to freeze at the worst possible time.

Then it happens. You finally hear what Jesus has been trying to tell you the whole time. Those words that pierce through all your self-denial and anger. 

Then those words enter into your heart and set you ablaze. To show you the power that was in you all along. To help you become whole and complete so you can move forward in life. 

Lesson of the day: You can deal with your daddy issues.

You can become a better father than your father ever was. That’s not you being arrogant. It’s you wanting to break that cycle of pain and misery that can occur in families. Who knows? Maybe your father was a bad father to you because his father did the same thing to him.

Don’t repeat that story of pain and despair. Rewrite it. Jesus can show you how to be a true father. He’ll show you how to do fatherhood the right way and bring clarity into your world. 

Jesus is not about religion

Please don’t get freaked out when I mention Jesus. I know a lot of people suffer from an allergic reaction to anything religious. That’s okay. I’m not a fan of religion either.

Religion is something that human beings made, not how Jesus wants to be introduced to you. Why do I say this? The word religion means “to search”. This is why you see many religious leaders do things to keep you busy with religion while they manipulate your emotions in order to maintain their power. 

Jesus isn’t about that at all. He is the Son of God who died to set you free from those dark things that keep on manipulating human beings, generation after generation.  Things like poverty, wickedness, lust, greed, pride, ignorance. He sacrificed himself to give you back the power to destroy these things and take back control of your destiny. 

That’s what I wanted to do. To take back control of my destiny. Cause every time I saw my father, I’d get so angry that I couldn’t think straight. 

My father used to be good to us when I was younger. But disappointment and broken dreams caused him to take out his frustration on all of us. He’d insult us, try to manipulate us and threaten us at times if his insults didn’t work. 

Living in that climate of fear and anger was an experience I wouldn’t want anyone to go through. 

I had to ask myself “what is wrong with this guy?” I didn’t ask to be in his world. To be his son. He claims to be my father yet he treats me and the rest of the family like trash.

It took a long while before it hit me. That my father doesn’t know how to be a father to me. That I would be in trouble if I kept waiting for him to change. 

That was when I made the decision to learn about fatherhood from God (the original source) and start healing by using these 4 tips I’m about to give you. 

4 Tips On How To Deal With Your Daddy Issues

Tip #1: Ask Jesus for help

Let’s face it. If you’re reading this, you either have daddy issues to deal with or know someone who does. 

A lot of people with daddy issues today have not healed because of pride and anger. They think they have the answer so they’ll keep trying it their way and get wrapped up in more pain and misery.

Think about it: If someone is drowning at sea and can’t swim, can that person save themselves? 

Right now, that person is you. You are drowning in a sea of anger, confusion and pain. You don’t know how to heal because no one showed you what to do

Asking for help is a sign that you are honest with yourself about some key things: That you’re in over your head. That you don’t understand what’s going on and how wounded you are but you definitely want to be free. 

We both know that you can’t do it on your own. You’ve tried and failed but that’s because you did it your way.  Why not try a better way? One that will help reveal the truth and show you how to heal from your hurt?

Just ask Jesus to come into your heart and help you deal with the issues you have with your father. The thing is that Jesus knows everything about you. Not what you show others but the real you who might be afraid to confront that pain in your heart.

I’m here to tell you that you don’t have to go it alone. Let Jesus help you face and conquer that problem together. 

If you really want to put an end to that pain, just start by saying the words below: 

Light of the world, help me to heal from this pain in my heart. It is so deep and it hurts so much! I accept you in my heart on this day. Guide me towards healing from this wound and help me become who you’ve destined for me to be. Amen 

Tip #2: Learn about your father’s family history 

Does your father have anger issues? Is he an alcoholic? Does he neglect you? 

If the answer to any of this is yes then you might need to do some investigation. To find out if your father has always been an angry person or something happened that made him that way. 

This will help you get some more understanding as to why your father acts the way he does. Don’t think it’s just a random situation that is happening to your family. A lot of men are repeating some historical things that are causing their family pain

Discovering what this issue is will help you know how you can combat it with knowledge. Ask your mom or auntie about this. Someone in your family knows the truth and can trace the pattern of issues that have shown themselves in your bloodline. 

Ex. If your father is prone to anger, read up on how to manage your anger and what to do when provoked. 

Tip #3: Forgive your father (in your heart)

Forgiveness is not something humans can do on their own. It literally goes against what humans tend to do whenever they are hurt (to get some payback). 

Haven’t you noticed that people who are in emotional pain or have deep childhood trauma tend to deny the existence of such pain or react in a hostile manner whenever the specific issue is mentioned?

This is probably the hardest one to do (trust me. I know) but if you can do this, you will be able to start your journey of healing in a tremendous way. 

Forgiveness is not you “letting the other person get away with what they did to you.” Forgiveness is you letting go of that person (in your heart) and setting yourself free so they no longer affect you negatively or cause your emotions to be “hijacked” by their presence. 

Now, I’m going to believe that you are a man or woman of your word. That when you say you’ll get something done, you mean it. 

So when you tell Jesus that you forgive your father, you really mean it. As in really, really mean it.

This might be the hardest words you’ve ever had to say but I’m praying that you have the courage to do it. To overcome your fears and break into a brighter future for you. 

If you have that courage, join me in repeating the words below: 

Jesus, help me to forgive my father for how he has hurt me. I might not think he deserves it but I don’t want to be held captive by the pain! Help me to walk the true path of forgiveness. Amen 

Tip #4: Get wisdom on how to be a great father

This is crucial for your healing journey.

Just because your father failed at being a good father to you doesn’t mean that you have to continue the trend. 

If you don’t learn how to be a great father, you will end up becoming a bad one by default (because you did not know any better). 

I challenge you on this one: Go beyond your father’s mistakes. Your future spouse, your children and your community will be grateful that you did this.  

Study (like read some solid books and talk to God) how to be a great father. Seriously. This can include biblical and non-biblical books. Just ask Jesus to guide you on your quest for knowledge. 

Get a mentor who you can see is a good father to emulate. Mentorship can be immensely helpful especially when you have questions or want to avoid the mistakes others have made in fatherhood. 

Conclusion

Those are my 4 tips to help you in healing from any daddy issues you have. 

I want you to know that you are not alone. There are millions of people going through the same hurt and pain but please don’t suffer in silence.

I really believe that you can heal completely and grab hold of your destiny which is buried beneath that pain in your heart. 

Jesus helped me to do just that and I pray He does the same for you. 

See you next time!